Maybe Someday
by MsAnimanga
Summary: Maura is concerned about growing too close to Jane, for reasons that she cannot explain to the detective. Surprise at the end.


**This is just an idea that came to me today, I've been wanting to do something like this but it hadn't come to me before now. This is just a quickie, I would like to expand on it, but this is what it is for now. **

It's late. The house is dark and empty, and Maura moves through it sluggishly, heading toward her equally dark and empty bedroom.

The bed creaks as it always does. Bass roams across the room, bumping into the bedside table once again.

It has been a long day.

It has been a long, exhausting, frustrating day.

It has also been a lovely day. Dinner with the Rizzoli family was fun, and Maura felt as though she belonged there, at that table.

Perhaps she did belong here. Perhaps, after years adjusting to this house and this place, she has found the stability that she needed.

The ceiling is a good thing to stare at while thinking. Jane had said that once. It was true- Maura often found herself staring at a familiar spot on the ceiling, thinking, deciding.

Maura has to make certain that she carefully considers her decisions. Maura is a careful person. Maura cannot let this change in her life occur without carefully processing all of the consequences.

Jane has had enough trouble in her life. Enough worry and fear and…perhaps it would not be fair to let this happen.

* * *

><p>"Why don't you ever want to tell me what you're thinking?" Jane sets the knife down, sets the onion aside.<p>

They were supposed to have a nice, quiet dinner. It was supposed to be something to get away from the stress that they bring home from work. But Jane had insisted on asking her questions about her childhood, questions that she couldn't fully answer without feeling guilty.

Of course, Maura carries more with her than the stress of work. And of course, Jane has to ask about things, has to notice things, has to understand things.

Maura has tried to pull away. She has tried not to get too close. Her eccentricities and oddities have kept people away. She has been safe from the prying questions and interests of others. Until Jane. It doesn't work on Jane.

"I- I'm not sure what you mean." Hazel eyes dart away from deep brown ones, settling on some object in the corner of the room.

"Maura, why won't you look at me? I just…I feel like…are you mad at me, Maur? Did I do something wrong? I swear I didn't mean to step on your shoes yesterday, I was just in a rush…." Jane's eyes are confused, and hurt, and it takes everything in Maura's power not to step forward and envelop her in a reassuring embrace.

"No, I'm not upset with you, Jane. It's nothing like that, really. I just…I don't have the memories that you do, Jane. My memories are….different."

Maura hates lying to Jane. But this is no lie; her memories are not like Jane's.

Maura's memories are fabricated, her life, her family….all of it.

"I know, Maur. You're all boarding school and riding ponies and whatever. Didn't you ever just… I don't know, blow something up? Chemistry set? Mad scientist stories…?" Jane rambles, picking up the knife once again and lightening the mood with her smiles and teasing.

It's comfortable once again. Jane always makes Maura feel comfortable. The tension in the room is forgotten, the questions are dropped, and Jane tells a story about a volcano she built for a science fair once.

Maura wishes that she could explain, she wishes that she could tell Jane about her childhood, about her life.

Instead, she smiles, and explains to Jane why her volcano reacted the way that it did. She leaves these thoughts for another day. Perhaps she can allow this to happen, after all. Perhaps Maura can be happy.

Maura is in love with Jane. Jane might possibly have a thing for Maura.

Maura can only hope that Jane will understand.

Maybe someday, Maura can explain. Maybe someday, she can tell Jane all about a different type of family that she once had, a life that she once lived, a team that she once belonged to.

Maybe someday, Maura will tell Jane about Caitlin.

Maybe someday.

**If you don't understand this ending at all, it is probably because you are not an NCIS fan. Sasha Alexander, who plays our beloved Maura Isles, used to play a character called Caitlin Todd on the show NCIS. Unfortunately, Caitlin was shot and killed. This story clearly insinuates that her death was not real and that Maura is, indeed, Caitlin Todd.**


End file.
